BE Fearlessly AUTHENTIC

That is what a card I have says. Thankfully I now know what it means to me, but for a long time, that was not the case. For 40+ years my [SILENT] answer was always "What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?"  

I mean, aren't we all who we are? Who else could we be? And why do I need to be so damn fearless about it? I'm quite comfortable where I am.  Ooo or what about the old, "Just Be Yourself!"

For some reason, that line got me even more upset. My [SILENT] reply "That would be great if I only felt confident with who I was!" Then I would feel that uncomfortable feeling like something was missing. What was I missing? 

I had a great life, let go of the past, was always looking forward to the future, didn't worry too much, the perfect family (in my eyes) - But what does the Authentic Moira look like? I felt I was genuine, but something made my skin crawl when I thought of the word AUTHENTIC.

That is until one October day, sitting in a room of complete strangers the speaker started explaining how our "Who's" are developed from all the life experiences we've had. YES, I know this is not a new or original concept. But, something about how it was presented hit me. 

You mean I AM ME with LAYERS of INFLUENCES on top? And those influences have kept me from knowing my authentic self? 

BLEW MY MIND! 

Now here is the next kicker. As an adult, you can see the full reasoning behind influencing behavior. But guess what, you were only a kid when they were developed. You did not have the luxury of knowing your dad's impatience had nothing to do with being on time and everything to do with the fact he was wound tight and stressed out! 

I believe there are 2 kinds of influencers.
Helpful (Have added to your life) and Hurtful (Have kept you playing small) - Take a minute and create two lists.  Go on, this blog isn't going anywhere.  O.K., looking at these lists, how Authentic do you feel?

If you feel authentic, then you are far ahead of me!
I would love to talk sometime!

 If you are saying "Then who the hell am I?" Let's talk!  

But before we do, let me give you what I got as my next mind blowing experience. Click the Honest Reflection image and download a 4-page experience bringing you through Values.  

Until that day in October I had heard of values, right from wrong, socially acceptable blah, blah, blah.

But then BAM! Holy Cow! 

I came to realized I was living my parent's, husband's, and friend's values, which was making me go crazy, feel overwhelmed, guilty, and lost.

No wonder why I didn't know who I was! I was letting everyone else influence "Who" I was. They say the first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem! Well, I admitted! 

Once I listened to myself and my values the world became manageable, I could reconcile and recognize when influencers are holding me back  

I COULD BREATHE!

Best of all I'm teaching my children by example! 

I honestly tell myself [SILENTLY] "That's your childhood fear talking. You are not that person"  Like right now writing this blog. As a child, I interpreted that I was a terrible writer, red marks everywhere! But my highest values are Honesty and Growth. So you know what, I'm not going to get better if I don't practice!

I'll admit I still have fears, but I am most definitely AUTHENTIC!